


папа

by Aryeet7



Series: Family is Thicker than Blood [1]
Category: Geography (Anthropomorphic)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Childhood Trauma, Daddy Issues, Death Wish, Established Relationship, Eventual Fluff, Family Issues, Father-Son Relationship, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Loss of Parent(s), M/M, Memories, Mental Health Issues, Mentions of alcohol, RusAme, The Author Regrets Nothing, america is being a good bf that he is, english is not my first language, good dad soviet, i finally figured out how to do tags, idk what I'm doing with life, some fluffy rusame bc they're my otp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:27:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24590803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aryeet7/pseuds/Aryeet7
Summary: It was a day after Christmas, 26th December, the day when he died.
Relationships: Russia/United States (Anthropomorphic), USSR & Russia
Series: Family is Thicker than Blood [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1777558
Comments: 2
Kudos: 44





	папа

It was a day after Christmas, 26th December, the day when he died. The day when the Union of Soviet Socialist Republic fell, the day when the Russian Federation lost his only father. Russia remembered in vivid details, how he watched, as the cracks of his father's body began to crumble, watched as his only parent dissolved into little remnants of dust, quickly disappearing into the air as a small gush of wind swept by.

The only things that were left were his overcoat and his brown ushanka. Russia was the only one to witness the death of his father, as his other adoptive siblings were playing outside when it happened. His father had called him to come inside while the rest of his siblings were playing in the snow, asking the confused russian to follow him to his office.

Russia was worried. He knew that his father hasn't been feeling well for awhile, evident by the amount of drinking he'd done and the little cracks that started to appear on his father's hands. When Russia tried to ask the communist a couple nights before, his father just replied vaguely, _"Not yet Россия, I'll tell you when you're ready."_

USSR smiled warmly at his eldest son and ruffled his ushanka, before continuing his way to his office and closing the door on the russian. Russia was still confused, but decided to just trust his father's words and wait anxiously for the moment his father consider him ready enough to know what's happening.

Now, he wished that moment never came. After Russia stepped inside his father's office, USSR immediately locked the door and turned his face to his eldest son, staring at him intently, making the russian a bit nervous under his father's watchful gaze. He approached his son, and with a fatherly manner, smiled softly and carefully put his hands on the young country's shoulder, easing the nerves of his only blood son. The russian relaxed at his father's touch, and was about to return his father's smile, until he saw the older country's eyes. They weren't full of their usual fighting spirit and fatherly love, instead they were now filled with sadness and... grief? Which in turn made the russian frowned.

Seeing his son's expression, the communist sighed and smiled sadly. His voice was low and quiet enough for only Russia to hear, and the next words that came out of the communist mouth will forever be embedded into the russian's mind, as they were the last words that Russia will ever hear from his father.

_"Россия, a couple days ago, you asked me about the cracks on my hands, correct?"_

Russia nodded.

_"Well сын, I think you're ready enough to know the truth."_

Russia knew he was supposed to be feeling proud that his father considered him to be ready enough to finally know the grown-up things that his father has been hiding, but right now, he could only feel a growing sense of dread that continues to gather inside his heart.

" _Россия, I don't have much time left."_

With that one sentence, Russia's world fell apart.

_"Wha-what, do you mean?"_

Hearing the crack in his son's voice shattered the communists heart, but he knew he couldn't break down nor even shed a tear. He doesn't want his last moments to be remembered as someone who tried to run from death. He would welcome death with open arms.

Meanwhile, Russia was holding back tears, trying to convince himself that his father wasn't saying what he thinks he's saying, as he could not deal with the reality of losing his only father.

The communist tightened his grip on his son's shoulder, but not tight enough to actually harm the smaller country.

_"I know this is a bit sudden but I need you to take care of your siblings for me, okay? I will pass on the house and our country to you, and it would be up to you now on how you want to govern and control it. I won't force my ideologies onto you, and I would trust that you would make the best decisions for your people and support you on any path that you would take."_

Russia was silently crying while listening to his father's will. USSR reached out his other hands to wipe the tears off the russian's face.

_"If your adoptive siblings request for freedom, please grant it to them. I want all of you to have your chance to be an independent country on your own, can you do that, сын?"_

Russia nodded again, trying his best to suppress the sobs that were threatening to rack through his throat.

_"Да папа... "_

He managed to croaked out.

_"One last thing, I love you Россия, and tell all of your siblings that I love them too."_

And with that, he started to fade. Russia stood petrified as he watched his father dying. USSR continued to hold on to his son, even as his vision continued to darken and his breathing turned hard and short.

His suffering ended, and his whole body unfolded into nothingness, leaving the distressed child to deal with a traumatising sight and to face a new, harsher reality. A reality where the communist is no more.

Russia found his legs could now longer support his weight, and so he dropped to his knees, his whole body shaking from grief and sadness, while he cradled his father's ushanka, desperately clutching the only thing that reminded him of his deceased father's presence. He sobbed and screamed in pain of losing his only parent and guardian, feeling the weight of being the new caretaker for his siblings pushed down upon his shoulders.

His breakdown must have attracted the attention of the rest of his siblings, as he heard noises outside of his father's office, but truth be told, the days that followed his father's death was a blur. He could only see the sight of his father's fading body, and how even when he was at death's door, he continued on smiling.

He blamed himself for his father's death, even if everyone told him that it wasn't his fault. Maybe it is, but he can't help but to feel guilty on how he stood helplessly while his father was dying, how he could only watch and not do anything to help ease the older country's last moments.

Although, Russia did honor his late father's will, he still felt he hadn't done enough. That feeling of guilt, regret, and helplessness never truly goes away, and Russia guessed that they would forever linger in his heart.

How does he know for sure you may ask? Easy. Russia is currently sitting in front of a grave that was covered in snow, wearing only a thin sweater and overcoat at midnight, in the middle of winter. His head was exposed to the cold air, as the ushanka that usually decorated the country's head is now in front of the grave.

_**R. I. P.** _

_**Here lies:** _

_**Union of Soviet Socialist Republic** _

_**USSR** _

_**30th December 1922 - 26th December 1991** _

He was still mourning the death of a country that a lot of people hated, even considered to be one of the worst countries to ever existed. A country that has been dead for nearly 30 years, but Russia could never fully believe that he was gone.

He was obviously alone, the rest of his siblings would come by in the morning, but by then, Russia would have drunk his third bottle of vodka, locked inside his own home, trying to forget his sorrows and succumb to the alcoholism.

He was used to the cold and the quiet, reminded him of the emptiness inside his heart, that is, until he felt a blanket being thrown across his shoulder. He looked to the side, noticing a familiar red and white striped country holding two mugs of hot cocoa and wearing a thick coat and other winter clothing.

America said nothing, only lending the taller country his mug and plopping down on the snow to sit beside Russia, snuggling close to gather heat and to comfort the mourning country.

Russia sighed and let America sit on his lap, hugging him to protect the smaller country from the cold harsh wind. They stayed in that position until Russia heard the capitalist soft snores.

He sighed once more, finally deciding that risking his boyfriend's health for his own personal issue is not worth it, especially for an issue that he should have resolved a long time ago. He picked up his sleeping boyfriend, put his father's ushanka back on his head, and grabbed the mugs from the snow. Taking one last look at the snowy grave, Russia gave a half smile, replying to the statement that he never had the chance to answer when USSR was still alive.

_"I love you too папа."_

He turned around, and walked towards his home, grateful for the presence of his lover.

From the other side, USSR smiled proudly that his son is finally moving on from his death. He has always been extremely proud at his son's work and accomplishments, but when Russia finally acquired someone that has helped him tremendously with his loss and even getting him out of a very bad state during his grieving and mourning, USSR was ecstatic. He wants Russia to move on with his life, and well, even if it takes a certain capitalist (that is also his arch nemesis) to make his son happy, the Soviet Union would be damned if he didn't approve of it. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hello people!
> 
> So this is my first fic that I posted on ao3 and i decided to write for this fandom first because.... just because. 
> 
> I hope y'all enjoy the angsty that I've written with a little help from my proofreader and editor: Alithia
> 
> Also I used Google Translate for the Russian so I apologise to all of my readers if I used some words wrong  
> Also also, Alithia pointed out how USSR was literally like "Hey son I'm gonna die in a bit so please take care of my stuff and your siblings k? peace out." And I just realized that after rereading it so really sorry if the angst feels sudden. 
> 
> Translations:  
> Россия - Russia  
> папа - Papa  
> сын - son


End file.
